Leaning Into Your Dreams
I’ve invested a lot of time, money, and emotions into jiu jitsu lately, ever since I decided to start taking it more seriously and to work towards my purple belt in the way that I want to. It’s been an interesting transformation to see my prior unsophisticated brute force approach of “attending as many classes as possible” to a limited schedule that involves taking rest days (yes, you read that right, plural) and mental reflection.
As is common with most introspective people, I also spend a lot of time wondering why I do the things I do in jiu jitsu. After all, the alternatives seem tantalizing in a lot of ways, mainly because they don’t involve being sweaty, achy, and uncomfortable in an infinite number of configurations. I find that knowing my “why” in jiu jitsu is a way to stave off existential crises and maintain inspiration/excitement for the art.
Currently, the answer for my “why” in jiu jitsu is this: simply put, it’s fun, meaningful, and satisfying to lean into my dreams. I have found that in the course of pursuing an endeavor in which one can go continuously deeper has given me a reason to keep going. It’s like finding a magician’s hat — every time you reach in, you get something new. Sometimes what I find is cute and fuzzy, and other times, not so much — but the reactions and lessons that I gain from these new experiences keeps me coming back for more.
Leaning into one’s dreams takes a lot of courage. It’s taken me a while to acknowledge that, especially for myself. It can be a lot safer and more comfortable to take the conventional path but sometimes the best scenery comes from off the beaten trail. At times I find that when I reach a certain destination, my desires have morphed in the process because I, too, have changed. Usually I am stronger and wiser than when I started off, and those moments fill me with a sense of pride at what I’ve been able to gain.
