My coaches would always tell me before/after a tournament that you're either winning or learning. Losing is merely a single result, and the focus should always be on the process; you have won your efforts. Taking the time to accept where you are, and then to be patient with yourself is always going to be the most difficult endeavor because you are with yourself, all the time, and your expectations are always in flux because that is the nature of emotions - energy is always changing forms.
Losing happens in weird phases for me. Similar to the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance
When I receive the final outcome, and my hand is not raised; I try to embrace myself with as much grace and dignity as possible. It is the key determinant in sportsmanship, a humble, inevitable, and very public external acknowledgement that I was beaten.
The first four stages of grief all seem to occur during a match. I give up a good top position and am in disbelief, now I'm upset, my mind starts to race, and I'm faced with a seemingly impossible challenge. But once I accept the mistakes that have gotten me there; it's almost as if I realize that I can still continue to fight and that's all that matters in the moment.
And then there's after the match. The long flight home. The sharing of the news. And the reflection. It's all a form of grief that happens in many unique and personal ways. It indicates that you care and you have an opportunity to share yourself with the world. Perhaps the take off and the landing is the most important part; but there are just as many mini scenarios that carry significance in between.
Victory in those scenarios may hold the key to the grand occasion we all enjoy day dreaming and fantasizing of.
My coaches would always tell me before/after a tournament that you're either winning or learning. Losing is merely a single result, and the focus should always be on the process; you have won your efforts. Taking the time to accept where you are, and then to be patient with yourself is always going to be the most difficult endeavor because you are with yourself, all the time, and your expectations are always in flux because that is the nature of emotions - energy is always changing forms.
Losing happens in weird phases for me. Similar to the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance
When I receive the final outcome, and my hand is not raised; I try to embrace myself with as much grace and dignity as possible. It is the key determinant in sportsmanship, a humble, inevitable, and very public external acknowledgement that I was beaten.
The first four stages of grief all seem to occur during a match. I give up a good top position and am in disbelief, now I'm upset, my mind starts to race, and I'm faced with a seemingly impossible challenge. But once I accept the mistakes that have gotten me there; it's almost as if I realize that I can still continue to fight and that's all that matters in the moment.
And then there's after the match. The long flight home. The sharing of the news. And the reflection. It's all a form of grief that happens in many unique and personal ways. It indicates that you care and you have an opportunity to share yourself with the world. Perhaps the take off and the landing is the most important part; but there are just as many mini scenarios that carry significance in between.
Victory in those scenarios may hold the key to the grand occasion we all enjoy day dreaming and fantasizing of.
Oss.